Have you ever eaten a treat so stupidly delicious that you actually start to question your own contribution to society? I have. Quite recently.

On the side of the road, in a dusty plot in front of a neighborhood bar was a stand going by the name of Cookie Addicts. Under a bright canopy, in the dusk-hewn Tucson summer torridity, a collection of cookies, brownies, and nibbles stood proudly on tiered display racks.

Being an adventurous eater is one thing when it comes to ingesting seafood oddities, or crumbly bits forged from some seasonal root found in the rainforest that has at least three x’s and four g’s in its name, but a cookie on some table in front of a bar that’s blasting the newest album by Municipal Waste?

My leanings moved me in the direction of a cookie titled Devilish Duo; a sizable circular titan claiming to be a maelstrom of chocolate divinity.

Taking a bite, I knew I had made the right decision. Praise be, was this thing delicious. Perfectly crispy on the outside and, yes, devilishly gooey on the inside. There was no lie about the chocolate momentum because it reached near maximum taste velocity and I immediately had to sit down.

In rapture, I stared at its maker as I ate.

Her name is Lindsey Nieporte and she informed me that her husband, Jeff, both transplants from Detroit, is running a little late. Or at least I think that’s what she said. Words were unclear because I then started my trek with a treat titled Peanut Butty.

For fans and followers of peanut butter, you have been warned. This is the axis that will tilt you in a possible wrong direction. Think about your family, your job, and your general state of well-being because this cookie will grab you by the palate lapels and take you down with it.

“That’s made with peanut butter dough infused with a peanut butter powder and rolled in creamy peanut butter,” said Lindsey. “It’s good, right?”

Not too sure if I answered or if some form of vowel movement occurred leaving me orally fumbling as the Peanut Butty was now in control. My joy only ascended as I submitted.

Lindsey and Jeff were in the airline transportation business for the military and would make lunch boxes for the soldiers. Included was a house-baked cookie that was the highlight of everyone’s meal. That pitch gave way in 2020 and the duo had to come up with a financial solution, and that unfolding was in those lunch boxes all along.

The process was a long one, going through a catalog of more than 300 recipes, from ancient ways to modern techniques, until the flavors and textures finally started to converge and take on a life of their own. They even have a cookie that fuses a recipe of their own making and one from a 12th-century butter cookie method — the result is timeless.

The best part is science plays a large role in what’s happening in their kitchen and eventually in your mouth.

“The cookie dough rests in the fridge for forty-eight hours,” said Lindsey. “Then we roll them in a specific sugar, which is a bit of a secret, mixed with sea salt that gives the cookies a very yummy, very unique texture. But the brownies rest for one hundred hours.

A 100-hour dough rest for brownies makes it seem like you are about to bite into something close to mummified. In fact, the result is the exact opposite. These brownies take the notion of heavenly then square it up with both the sacred and the profane, all in one nibble brick you can place upon yon altar of sweet decadence and bow.

These heady words about Cookie Addicts’ goods are only because I was heady the whole time I was sampling their wares. Normally, I am a “savory foods fan” but these treats may have me convinced otherwise. To quote the almighty Tina Turner, they are in fact “simply the best.”

“Oh we’re opening up a savory food truck,” Lindsey threatens.

By this time her partner in life and business, Jeff, arrives, only to back up those words.

“We love loaded potatoes and fries,” he said. “So, we’re going to do something with that as well as doing smoked and braised meats. Our truck is being custom built in Phoenix right now so by the end of summer we’ll have that truck up and running.”

If their starch and protein wagon is as good as their cookies, candied nuts, and brownies, then we as a collective city are at once blessed and doomed. Sometimes the right people come along and do the right thing and have that right touch to do said right thing at the right time. The Nieportes are those people. Better yet, all of their eggs come from their backyard farm and every piece of citrus is harvested just a few blocks from where they create your next sweet snack addiction.

If you follow or plan on following, Cookie Addicts online you will notice the words “Roasted, Baked, and Smoked” in their tagline — possibly insinuating that their delights will get you lifted in a different kind of high. That’s because they do offer infused delectables through special order and are looking to get products into local dispensaries.

Imagine eating a kush cookie, getting the munchies, only to eat another because they are so crazy good? Sounds like a typical afternoon for most here in Tucson.

Lindsey and Jeff have just leased a 15,000-square-foot area on east Speedway that they plan on turning into a mini food court by the end of July 2022. Cookies and brownies on one side, mobile fries and meats on the go, and now an eat-a-torium in the 7000 block of Speedway? Love the ambition here.

When the deserved culinary nobility is thrust upon the Nieportes, just know that it all started with a cookie. First in a snack box for soldiers, then to a table, and now for you and all of Tucson. Amen.

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